Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Naked. naked and bneed help.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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