On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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