ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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