Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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