please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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