nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
