I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
