you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
