Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
