i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
