I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
