I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
