Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she looked like the before picture.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
