I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
