Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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