im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
