u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
