My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
