Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
