Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
