woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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