then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
