if you like me you must not know who I am
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My pussy is not your playground.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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