Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
