I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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