I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
