btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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