I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
