Porn is love you can see.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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