Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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