That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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