This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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