I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
