I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
