The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
