I can text with my tongue
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
