awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
