Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
please come you make the beer taste better
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
