Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
