OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She's like a pop up book from hell.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
