your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
