no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
