YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
