i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
