I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
