do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
