Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
