yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
