I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
