i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
