if you like me you must not know who I am
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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