8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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