she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
